Not sure if I have blogged about this before..? Don't think I have and it's about time I bring this new tidbit into this little world of mine :) So to cut a long story short, I met a guy and we both like each other. End of story. Haha. Talk about an anti-climax.

He's a guy I met awhile back and I have had this crazy curiosity about getting to know him better since I met him, but never did have the courage to do it until recently. And yea, things progressed from the moment I initiated a conversation with him. It has been about 3months since then and I have to say, there were a hell lot of problems we faced. lol. Makes me long for a peaceful, cozy relationship with just two people in it. Ha, that caught your attention! It's nothing as scandalous as a love triangle or square or whatever shape you have in mind. Haha.

Maybe it's just me...I'm a person with pretty low self-esteem. Who in the right mind would like me?? Ahh but it seems like there is one unlucky fellow out there who does. We had just resolved a problem last night and right now, everything is calm and peaceful...but who knows how long this will last till the next wave? I feel like I am just waiting for the time to part ways. Sigh.

This brings me to another point. One thing I dislike about being in a relationship is the inevitable emotional rollercoaster. A relationship requires you to put yourself out there and make yourself vulnerable to the other person. In short, anything that he says has the power to wound you deeply. And it's painful. I thought I had built up my defences pretty well, but his one sentence "You better exercise and lose weight" was a heartbreaker. Throughout lunch that day, I was hating myself for each spoonful of rice I ate...Painful.

Right now, I am a bit both weary and wary about how things will turn out. Is it normal to feel tired so early on in the relationship? All we've had so far are just texts, calls and video calls. When he sees me, will he change his mind about us? I know that I present a different image online and offline. Insecurities, insecurities and more insecurities.

A bit tired now, but I would really like this to work out. Whatever this thing is between us. He hasn't even asked me officially to go out lor please -.- I feel like I've been an initiator in most things so far. Okay, there is nothing wrong with a girl being the aggressor, but if the guy doesn't even do the basic stuff, the sense of security that I crave would never materialise. I might as well have a relationship all by myself right -.- Argh. This is just so complex, complicated and confusing. Wonder how long we will last. Hmmmmm.