Ahhh,have been so busy preparing for my Chinese Olevel tmrw.

Right,that was fake. lol. I am not busy preparing for it. I am busy slacking though. lol.

Thursday
Oh my. Last BC lesson already. My 3 beloved gfs wrote me a letter each. LOL. I always find writing out my thoughts for others to read is a difficult thing. I mean like how you truly feel about a person and letting that person READ it. I think it takes a lot of courage and thought to write such a letter. They gave me a frog bin,which I found kind of random but cute. lol. Cause Friday is Vesak day,so those who had lessons on Friday could choose another lesson from another day for makeup. Yea,and usually the 4 of us would choose thursday,like that JJ guy. I still have not idea what's his real name. lol. Nvm,after so much cool-off time,I realised I am not so curious about it after all. After lesson,I spent some time with JP (my best pal for EIGHT YEARS) taking photos. lol. Really hope to have an outing with them sometime :)

Talking about cool off time,I am reminded of DSA. I really hope to go to Anderson JC,but getting 10 points is a little grrrr,for me. I am currently getting 13,and I consider my results not bad already. -sigh- But sad thing is thought I have leadership position in HSRCY,I am not in my school council. If not,I can have more points. So I am kind of doubtful I can get in through leadership points. If I want to get in through academic results,based on CJC DSA criteria,I need to be in top 15% of my level. Which I think I might or might not have a chance. lol. My level position is around there,but I don't know for sure. Worse come to worse,go through Olevel results liao lor. -sigh- If I didn't fail Physics, I am DEFINITELY in top 15%. Hmph.

My dad gave my form teacher hell on PTM because I failed my physics,even though she teaches chemistry. LOL. Die liao la,he even say my physics teacher not good. -prepares grave- I sit there also nothing to say. Then my and ms toh just keep giving polite smiles to each other. -blanch- It's scary when your teacher does that. And don't forget,I am terrified of teachers.

All in all,Thursday was a very tiring day. After school,PTM then BC lesson,go home 8pm. Urgh. But it was really fun. Thursday was also last day of Chinese Intensive. The guys in my class ended up fighting for FUN =.= I don't get the fun of it.

Friday
Went to temple for breakfast. Everyone went out leaving me and Dad alone. lol. This is starting to be an usual occurence. Did some chinese papers,slack here slack there,time passes really quickly when you're not studying. lol. But well,I really enjoy spending time with my Dad when he's not busy,cause he can actually be FUN. lol. But be wary. When he's jolly,something is bound to be wrong. Uh-oh. Haha.

Saturday
Yikes! 2more days till Chinese Os!! Same thing,only me and Dad alone at home. Slacked my day away. Went for a jog with Dad in the evening. Pretty relaxing to stretch a bit after being cooped up for so long. Finished watching the korean drama Save the Last Dance for me. Super good romance drama. Like waht I always say,this doesn't happen in real life. Yea,pretty skeptical. lol. After the exercise,came home and cooked dinner for the two of us,and then yea,slacked till bedtime. LOL.

That's all :) Wish me luck for Chinese Os on Monday!!

Catholic JC,Anderson JC or Nanyang JC????

Ahhhh,I am so tired. Haven't felt like this after stepping down from HSRCY months ago. I feel so sad. I think this year is going to be a very sad year becasue of so many partings. First,my stepping down from HSRCY. Second,me quitting British Council (today was my last official lesson). Third, drifting apart from a certain someone. Fourth,parting with all my teachers and secondary school friends at the end of the year. I wonder how much more heartbreaks I can endure without breaking. -sigh-

Chinese Intensive is really fun. Super fun,I tell you. Every single day without fail,we do an entire set of chinese paper. Including all compoS and compreS. Phew. All my brain juices all gone liao. I seriously suck at the MCQs and compos. Can't form a perfect chinese sentence with chim chim words in it. Yikes. Not goooddd. Oh my god. suddenly feeling so nervous about Chinese Os which is on 31st May. Eeekk!! I need all the luck I can get!! LOL.

Today was my last official BC lesson. So sad. So far,it has been the one and only tuition I have ever had in my life. lol. Being the sweet friend that I am -coughs- I bought each of them a present. A different one for all 3 of them. So thoughtful right? -blush- LOL. Plus today Me,Mar and JP gave Jane's belated birthday present too. Super lots of gifts going around. lol. Hugged JP. So far,she is the best person I have ever hugged. Not too tall,not too round,she is slim,in fact. lol. Gotta get some pics next thurs,makeup class for Vesak day.

For the last week,I have been feeling totally emo. I believe that what we have is definitely more than plain,simple friendship. After so many years,you have finally found someone you love. I know I am to be glad for you,but somehow I just can't bring myself to. Sadly,I am underaged and not allowed to drown my sorrows in alcohol (though I won't even if I can),I found another way to escape this harsh reality world. For the time being. I just want to hide. To run away from a world without you.

Surprise,surprise. Dad didn't scream at me for failing physics. What he wanted was worse. Make notes for every single chapter for it. My god...I am trying to put it off as late as possible,using Olevel Chinese as an excuse. Urgh. Got back most of my results this week...not up to my expectations for E&Amath. Too complacent already. -sigh- But I am super glad that I managed to pass my History when I absolutely had no idea how to attempt one of the 12m essay question. Even better,I managed to be the top for SS,I think. lol. To me,doing History and SS SBQ question is like testing my luck. It totally depends on how you interpret the source. If you interpret it in a way that is not in the marker's marking scheme,you are so gone case -.- Same for Econs. -sigh- Super happy with my Chiense grades :D 63/70 siah!! WOOHOO!! So happy. I think Lady Luck was with me these few days,just not last Friday when I took back my Physics results T.T

He is my hero. My shining light in the darkness. He has accompanied me for so many years and now,he has got someone else...I know I am suppsoed to be happy for him,but I just can't find the energy to. He is getting further and further away from me. I want him to be happy. Truly. Yet I want him all to myself at the same time...I know I am really selfish. It is an un glamorous triat,not something I am proud of. If only I had been born earlier...

Oh my god. I am so dead. Exams finally over. Thank god. But results are so !@#!@#!#!!!! -bangs head against wall- I FAILED PHYSICS!!! ARGHHHHH!!!! Oh the horrors...!!! I haven't dared to tell my dad about it yet. He is so going to kill me. I didn't cry when I got back my results. I cried after my physics paper. =.= but hey man,at least I didn't get a F9. Phew. but oh dear...Parents Teachers meet is coming TT.TT



PLEASE!! SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME HOW TO BREAK THE NEWS GENTLY.



-sigh- Like what yiling said,even though the exams are over,I don't feel the satisfaction at all. I really need to buck up for Physics!! But HOW?? :( I just can't apply all thsoe formulas =.=



Had my last Red Cross parade yesterday. World Red Cross Day carried forward. lol. I was the contingent commander XD People say my voice louder than the parade commander's voice. oops. LOL. Oh well,I was totally trembling with my role,so I don't think I could have done better in her place :) Wore that stiff uniform to Econs Paper 2. lol. Afer waking at 6am,going through all that shit(i.e. sizing,checking their uniforms) with juniors,I totally forgot all my definitions and graphs. Urgh. Anyhow do already. lol. At least I tried.



After my paper,I went to change into school uniform. Then cause when wearing full uniform,I need to tie my hair into a bun,so if I put it back down into a ponytail,it would be really curly. lol. So I just left it as a bun and my friends say I look very serious. T.T like a teacher =.= This shows that ponytails are more youthful than buns. LOL. But oh well,I DID like my bun look XD



So shuang la that day. Wear my Warrant Officer rank. Woohoo! LOL. 2ng highest rank you can get in secondary school,I so happy. lol. People see already,also like "wah,one bar siol" LOL. Okay,sorry. ONE BAR IS NOT LANCE CORPORAL OKAY! LOL.



I am not continuing British Council lessons after June holidays,so I only have 2 more lessons to go before I say goodbye to all my friends from prestigious schools T.T So sad. Jie pin,my longest BC friend. lol. From P5 until now. Jane,from sec1 and Mar from sec3. lol. Go there always feel so pressured by Mar because of her fashion sense. Have I mentioned that mine is so CMI? lol. I simply can't match clothes.



Ahhhhh...but oh well...more sad about having to leave the place where I spent all my Fridays since P3. lol. Each year 1k plus,near 2k though. Phew. The one and only tuition I have ever attended. Gonna miss all my angmoh teachers T.T



Today went to library even though I have a sore throat and slight fever. I just wanted to go so badly T.T Haha. I just thought about something my friend said. I told her my dad doesn't like it when I got to the library and she said "HUH?? If I go to the library,my dad would be so happy la!" LOL. I went and borrowed 10novels from TPY library and my mom was like "aiyo,why never go AMK library,help us increase our loan rate" LOL. Then I say "10books a lot meh?" lol. I thought that since there are so m any people in the library,the loan rate is high. I overlooked those people there to study.



Urgh. I hope that Physics will be the only subject that I fail. If not,do visit me at my grave. Tyvm.

Monday....Looking forward to FRIDAYYYY.I have already thought of what I want to do on Friday already. The number 1 thing to do is to go library :D 2nd thing I am gonna do is to read my novels :D 3rd thing I am going to do is to read manga/watch movies at home. Wooohoo~ MY idea of fun. lool. See,it is not the typical "oh i am going to catch a movie with my friends after exams". Totally proves that I am anti-social. T.T

I have already thought it through. Tmrw is still quite okay. Only Chemistry and Econs MCQ. It's Wednesday and Thursday that is trouble. Wednesday I have Chemistry and Amath!! NO MCQ TT.TT Thursday I have to wake up at what, 6am? to wear my full u. My last time wearing it. TT.TT so sad. Plus I am taking Econs paper 2 that day. GG. It's super uncomfortable wearing your full u and writing. Friday quite okay. Amath,shouldn't be a problem,unless I can't prove some trigonometric function. -blanch-

I have a piece of bad news. I am currently sitting beside the most hated person in class. Oh my god. But I don't think anyone dislikes her as much as I do. So far in my lifetime,there are only 2 people whom I dislike immensely on sight and she is one of them. To prevent any unhappiness,I try to stay far far away from them. But I think that perhaps my good luck is running out. After 3 years, I am sitting right next to one of them. Oh my god. My grades are so gonna suffer. But the positive side is that I have an absolutely clear view of the board. lol. And my "best friend" is right behind me. Haha. -pats self on the back- Nvm,yulin,only a few more months to go. ENDURE!

Oh my god. This is so so bad. The worst. I FLUNKED PHYSICS!!! OH MY GOD!! I am so so dead. And I have totally lost interest in that subject. Die. Si. Blegh. Tomb. -sigh-

English wasn't so good either. Teacher accuse me of plagiarism. Wth. Die lor. =.= Hopefully she passed me. Urgh. No high hopes there. Fail English= GG. Can shut down off the com already.

Emath still not too bad. A few questions don't know how to do though. SS was quite okay too. HISTORY AH. Aiya! Sian ji bua. -sigh- The teacher go mix chapters in the question that I chose. -SIGH- 12marks gone. Sian. The SBQ go crap a lot,not very sure if I can score well T.T

Chinese,hopefully I never stray off the main topic. -sigh-

Failing physics was really very demoralising. But actually I knew I would fail the day before. lol. Perhaps if I took the paper with a more positive mindset,I could have passed. Got one question,I stared at it super long,but couldn't find an appropriate formulae to use,in the end the whole question gone. But actually,all the clues were there already. I just did not look at things in a different way. This proves something to me. When you set your mind to something,your brain will block out all the things that should have been useful to you. And in the end,you fail.

SO SAD! ARGHHH!!! Next week I have Econs,Amath and Chemistry. All that I need to take extra notice of,even Amath. I tend to be very careless =.= Chemistry and Econs is usually insufficient knowledge that led to failing. -sigh- I prepared for this mid years 2weeks before the exam started,but still fail...i am very demoralised.

Alright,on a happier note,I realised that my History teacher's chinese is MUAHAHAHA! LOL. He is one of those who speaks Chinese in a very weird way even though he IS chinese. LOL. He write chinese words also super slow. Everytime he speaks in his mother tongue language,I will definitely um chio,if not I laugh out loud. Haha. So hilarious. Not making fun of him la,but just the way he speaks XP His English is very good though. lol.

I realised I am very anti-social now. Just a few days ago,someone asked me who is/are my best friends in my class. After thinking for awhile,I could only name one person. Well,I am not particularly upset about that. After all,I AM anti-social. lol. I keep more to myself,my family and my computer.

Ahhhhhhhhh~!! I don't want to think so much. I still haven't revise Chem and Econs!! -shrieks!- I DON'T WANT FAIL AGAIN!!!