So confused. My mind is in a haze of confusion. Which is the right choice to make? Which is the choice that won't make me regret choosing it? I am so afraid...afraid that if I choose the wrong one, I will lose another good friend.

I was just scrolling through my whatsapp conversations and I realised that the one with Marcus has gone all the way down to the bottom. lol. Bottom third I think. And his display picture now shows him and his girlfriend. A blissfully happy picture. Seeing it made me feel...a little down? The only thought that crossed my mind was "the girl in the picture could have been me...the girl who could have made him look that happy...could have been me." And then I remembered all the fights we had. lol. Isn't it ironic? I once thought that he was quite possibly one of the few guys who aren't prone to drama and his actions turned out to be Hollywood drama-worthy. I am glad we are no longer together.

Right now, there is a much much better man chasing me. And he is so awesome that I can sing his praises all night long. I am serious. You know in primary school, when girls are asked to spell out the characteristics that they want their Prince Charming to have, they will say stuff like "oh, I want him to be sensitive, caring, nice, etc etc". Well, he has all those qualities. And he is really smart and studious too, which puts us on the same wavelength. In fact, he is much smarter than I am. Which is something I really like. Have I mentioned that he looks darn hot too? The first time I saw him wearing formal clothes, I could do nothing but just sit there and stare. Seriously, it was that stunning. In fact, when he wears jeans, it is all I do to stop myself from salivating. God, I am turning into one of those crazy fangirls.

But that isn't all. The ONE thing that is stopping me in my tracks and really consider him as a potential guy is that he is willing to put me as priority over everything else. Over his games. Over his friends. And that, is really important to me. Especially the gaming part. I am not sure if I have ever narrated what ended me and Marcus but just in case I haven't, let's drag those painful memories out again...

Year 1 Sem 1 was a terrible time for me. I had arrogantly planned my timetable such that after one class at SPMS, I had to run all the way to S4 for the next class, which I am of course late for. And my idiot group mates would never leave a chair for me. Idiots. Well anyway, one of those days was really terrible and that day I went home, showered, laid on my bed and texted him "Hey, what are you doing?". His reply: playing NBA with a friend. And my heart broke. At that point in time, we were actually going through a breather. A breather which is the third time we had taken it in the 6months' relationship that we had. If he had told me that he was outside with a friend, or something, I wouldn't have been that upset. At least I don't think I would have been. It was the "playing a game with a friend" that was the last straw. I didn't need him to think about us every second of the day, but I do expect him to not be in a mood to play a game. And that, was why I gave up on him.

Come to think of it, this guy also games quite a lot. And I am seriously considering telling him that if we do get together and when we fight, he cannot play his computer games. Not even his dailies. But I am afraid that he will ask why, and then I would get stuck 'cause he doesn't like to hear about my ex. Sighh, Anyway, my life is thrown into confusion because of him. I don't know if I should accept him or not. We get along as friends very very well. But I am not sure if we have the chemistry. And if we don't have much chance together, I would rather not risk our friendship for nothing. What should I do??