Last night was seriously hurting...it was one of a upsetting episode. Well,basically my dad found out that I have been playing games and watching tv a lot these few days despite my exam today. So he just yelled and threatened to deduct my allowance next year if I don't get at least a merit. But well,seriously...
1)If he himself can't get a merit,why should he be able to lecture me??
2)From my point of view,is that he doesn't reward me for getting good grades BUT deduct my allowance if I get a bad grade.
Justice,huh. So what if he gives me whatever MOE is giving me? The money that MOE gives to whoever gets the top few in school that one. I think that the money my dad is giving me on top of the MOE money,is already used for buying my time to be at home. All these years,I am not even allowed to go out with friends much. When I get a bad grade,he just scolds me. And "motivate" me. Yesterday night I was so upset that I cried. If you can believe.

This morning's exam,I think I can get around 70 or so ba. Not too high,kinda low. Which is good,because I have learnt that once you do well in something once,you are expected to keep up the "good work". Which I must say,is very STRESSFUL. After that,my dad told me now that the exams are over,start preparing for next year. Somehow I already knew that he would say that,but it still came as a slight shock. I just thought...even if I do really well next year,next year's holidays will be used to prepare O-levels. Then IF I do well nin sec4,that year's holidays will be used to prepare for JC/poly life. And this goes on...

Perhaps I have been influenced by Dewson...but what he says is true. Does this mean that we can only relax when we finally earn enough money and retire?? When we can barely walk and speak,we can finally live life in luxury??

Since there are 2months of holidays this year,why can't I use 1month's time to relax and chill before studying for the rest of the holidays? You get what I mean? Since I have the time,why not??? Sometimes I think that my dad is my friend and at other times,I feel that he is my greatest enemy. I also think that there are some GREAT misunderstandings between us...but anyway,I have learnt not to trust my family so much. As in,I can't play the com when my bros and mum is at home. Afterall,you never know when they might just backstab you,just like yesterday night. -sigh-

Upsetting. Still trying to cope with my emotions...